How about giving yourself a pistola for Christmas.
Ta hell with the bike fer the kids. I wanna shoot something.
Cocaine for kids? That'll get 'em movin'.
Now this one is down right offensive, but Wall Street didn't think so. They were catering to thu po' folk who didn't have no money. Jus one cent fer a big ol bowl o' Cream O' Wheat. Yummy!
An' you can patch your walls wit' it too.